The great thing about sex is that there is no such thing as a perfect “good shot.” Of course, some will be more talented than others (spoiler: these are the ones who listen to their partner), but they will never please everyone. There are a lot of awesome profiles out there and not all of them match. Like athletes, they are divided into different categories. Plus, according to a Norwegian study, the sport you practice or prefer says as much about your profile as a dick. So, in bed, are you more of a starfish, more of a golden eagle, or more of a Hungarian shorthair pointer? You’ll know it right away.
Football: you spend your time simulating
There is very little interest in engaging with you because we realize very quickly that your giant high-pitched screams are completely fake. Why are you showing off?
Riding: you always want to be on it
If your partner likes to be down, that’s okay, but avoid yelling “yeeeeeeee” Where “coconut color” while you’re doing it: it might bother him. In any case, never sleep with another rider. You will fight with the whip to find out who has the upper hand.
Physical education: you like to look at yourself in the mirror while exercising
You love to scream and watch your tight trapezes “You are the most beautiful”of “you are the strongest”or even “You are a living god Kevin, worth spending 8 hours a week in the gym”. In general, your intercourse lasts 1 minute in your hand.
Basketball: ken for hours
By running non-stop on floors, your body no longer has any limits and can have sex indefinitely. The only problem is that no one likes to have sex that long: your partners will leave you for people who cum in 7 seconds.
Quidditch: you haven’t done it yet, but it’s coming!!!
(You’re so lonely)
Boxing: you are insatiable
It’s simple, your need for sex is insatiable. Since you have extraordinary stamina, you always ask for an extra round when your partner is knocked out, which makes you very frustrated. You were once caught punching yourself with a boxing glove “Because it looks like someone else’s hand.” » Great, but next time don’t forget to close the lock.
Cycling: are you taking viagra
So, even if you don’t have erection problems, you can’t help but take products to perform better in bed. You risk taking a hit on your health, but you wonder if your limbs are as stiff as calves after climbing Mont Ventoux.
Gymnastics: you go crazy in bed
Your flexibility and physical strength allow you to pull all kinds of pranks in bed. By the way, you’ve already tried all the Kamasutra positions, including the wrapped salad, the pogo stick, and the Bolivian match.
Climbing: you cling to anything you can
You have a slight preference for people with shapes to hold their love handles, breasts or hips. That’s great, but on the other hand, remove this harness immediately, it has nothing to do with bed.
100 meters (athletics): finish in less than 9 seconds 58.
They call you the Usain Bolt of bouyaven. An unpleasant title, especially on a CV. But this does not prevent you from carrying a flag on your shoulder after enjoying it too soon.
Tennis: you shout too loud
You let out loud cries with every thrust of your body. If your spouse is also a tennis player, your neighbors may soon send the police on you.
Curling: lube has no secrets for you
It slips so much that you fall out of bed every two minutes. Not very practical.
Rugby: you fuck anything that moves
All you care about is, as you so beautifully put it, “changing the essay.” So, as soon as you meet someone, you want to tick (consensually, of course). You are clearly not far from monogamy.
Darts: you are the best darts on earth
Never miss your target. G-spot, clitoris, prostate: you always aim perfectly to provide maximum pleasure to your partners (who gather in front of your house for the chance to share your diaper). We lied in the introduction, there is the best move and it’s you.
Judo: oulaaah soft
You thought sex was a fight? Stop acting weird to your partner. Also, stop fucking in a robe, it’s not very sexy.